 | Similarities and diffrences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England. |
Conducted by Nguyen Thi Thu Huyen - FA9-2001----------------------------------------------------------- AcknowledgementI am deeply grateful to Mr Tran Huy Phuong, of Hanoi University of Foreign Studies for his valuable instruction, corection, comment and assitance during the development of my report. I would like to give a big thank to the English Department for giving me an opportunity and encouragement to complete my research. Finally I also would like to convey my thanks to all of my friends for their help. ContentIntroduction. Part 1: Similarities in wedding customs of Vietnam and England 1. Introduce the situation. 2. Engagement. 3. Wedding ceremony. 4. Early wedding traditions in the past. Part 2: Differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England . 1. Preparation for wedding ceremony. 1.1. In Vietnam 1.2. In England 2. After the wedding ceremony. 2.1. In Vietnam 2.2. In England 3. Other differences. 3.1. The customs of inviting guests 3.2. Organization of wedding 3.3. The process of a wedding ceremony 3.4. Other things 3.4.1. Wedding attire 3.4.2. Colour used in wedding 3.4.3. Veils 3.4.4. Wedding cakes 3.4.5. Wedding gifts 3.4.6. Flower power 3.4.7. Rice Purpose : To help students to understand more about culture of England and Vietnam in oder to exchange good things. References Introduction Each country in the world has its own traditional customs because of diffrences in culture. People who like discovering traditions and customs of other countries find it hard to concentrate on the whole matter at a same time. Therefore we should mention one custom individually, then analize it. “Wedding customs” is an interesting topic. It attracts much care of young pepole. Wedding is very important to one’s life, not only to the couple involved but also for both families. Thus, it usually includes quite a few formal ritual observances. The process of wedding in Vietnam (an Asian country) and England (a Western country) is different from each other. This research will bring to you common knowledge about wedding customs in the two countries above. As a second year student of English department, I really want to find path to the English culture, especially the wedding customs. In order to learn English effectively, students had better understand English people and their culture. The research aims at : - Helping Vietnamese or English learners in common and the youth in particular distinguish the different feature in wedding customs between two cultures. - Giving useful information and illustrations to help Vietnamese who are interested in the English culture or now are living there know how a wedding is organized. And also help English people understand Vietnam wedding traditions. To complete this report, I asked my parents for their experience of wedding and get other sources from books, magazines, internet, etc. I do hope that my report will provide you some basic knowledge about English and Vietnamese wedding customs. And we can exchange suitable and good customs of our own culture . Part 1Similarities in wedding customs of VietNam and England . In every nation, a wedding is organized with many formal ritual observances. Vietnamese and English both have engagement and wedding ceremony in marriage arrangerment. However, engagement and wedding ceremony are completely different in detail. I. Early wedding traditionsAs early as the sixteenth, up to the nineteenth century, marriages in Vietnam and England were arranged by parents or guardians. The bride and bridegroom often were not acquainted until their marriage. The parents often made the marriage arrangements and betrothals while the bride and bridegroom were small children (age three to seven ). The children would continue to live with their own parents and meet from time to time for meals or holiday celebrations. These prearranged marriages came under fire in the late seventeenth century when a judge held that betrothals and marriages prior the age of seven “utterly void”. However, they would be valid if, after the age of seven , the children called each husband and wife, embraced, kissed each other, gave and recieved Gift of Token. II. Engagement. 1. In Vietnam The groom’s family and relatives go to bride’s house. They bring about three or twelve trays (It depends on the finance of the groom’s family) that contain betel leaves and areca nuts , wines, cigarettes, etc. People who hold the trays all wear traditional dress ao dai , normally red ao dai because red is a symbol of happiness . The groom’s parents ask for permisson for their son to get marriage . In the engagement , two families discussed the date of marriage very carefully. Vietnamese consider that suitable time and date of wedding affect much their future. 2. In England Before wedding , bride and groom organize a party as an engagement party. Families, relatives, friends of bride and groom join together, they are witnesses of the coming marriage. The couple then give reasons of the party to guest. They exchange rings and cut the cake. The original purpose for an engagement ring was a sign that a woman was purchased and belonged to the groom to be. The first people to use rings in a romantic way were the French. In the sixteenth century they used gimmal rings. These rings are intertwined, but had a little slit in the gold so that during the engagement each person wore one of the rings. Gradually, English find it interesting and follow that. III. Wedding ceremony. 1. In Vietnam On the wedding day, the groom’s family and relatives go to the bride’s house bringing a lot of gifts wrapped in red papers. These gifts are similar to those of the engagement: betel leaves and areca nuts, liquor, fruits, cakes, tea...Those who carry these trays are also carefully chosen, usually they are happily married. Women are all dressed in ao dai. Men could be in their suit or men traditional costume. The procession usually led by a couple that is most wealthy and successful among the relatives, this mean to wish the to – be – wed couples a blessing life together in the future. The groom’s family would stop in the font of the bride’s house. The leading couple should enter the house first bringing a tray with liquor and tiny cups on it. They would invite the bride’s parents to take the toast. By accepting a sip, the bride’s family agree for the groom family to enter their house. The groom’s family would introduce themselves and ask permisson for their son to marry his bride. The master of the ceremony (usually a respected person among the bride’s relatives) instruct the bride’s parents to present their daughter. The bride then follow her parents out. She is in Vietnammese traditional wedding ao dai which is usually in red. Followed are her bride maids. The wedding ceremony starts in front of the altar. The bride and the groom would kneel down and pray, asking their ancestors’ permission to be married, also asking for blessing on their family – to – be. The couple then turn around and bow hands to the bride’s parents to say thank raising and protecting her since birth. They then bow their head to each other, which means to show their gratitude and respect toward their soon to be husband or wife. The master of the ceremony would give the wedding couple advices on starting a new family. The groom and the bride’s parents would take turn to share their experience and give blessing. The groom and the bride then exchange their wedding rings. The groom’s parents will give the newly wed valuable gifts such as golden bracelets, ear rings, necklace...as dowry. The ceremony is ended with around applause. Today, a lot of Vietnamese couples have their wedding ceremony done in chuches which is very much similar to American and Western style, including exchanging vows and wedding rings. However, they still maintain Vietnamese traditional ceremony in the bride’s home before heading to the churches. A wedding banquet is scheduled in the evening at a hotel or a big restaurant. It is always a delight feast that all relatives, friend, and neighbors are invite. A music band is usually hired to play live songs. At the banquet, the groom, bride, and their family are once again introduces to the guests and everyone will drink a toast. Dinner will be served at the tables. During the reception, the groom, bride, and their parents will stop by each table to say thank to their guests. The guest in return, will give envelopes containing wedding cards and money gifts to the newly wedded couples along with their blessing. A lot of wedding nowadays are followed by a dancing party, which is opened by the groom and the bride’s first dance. The party does not recess until very late at night. The newly wedded couples then leaves for their honey moon.
Unlike the wedding ceremony in Vietnam . The key element utilized in most Western wedding ceremonies, in their most common order, are :
In which the officiant typically announces the purpose of the gathering, indiacates the names of the bride and groom, welcome the guests and solicits them to participate in the ceremony by their presence and, perhaps, their prayer.
In which the offciant ruminates on the meaning of the marriage and the significance of the bride and groom’s decision to join together in the wedlock. The officiant may also share more casual remarks about the bride and groom as he or she has come to know them, and about the fitness of their union. The portion of the ceremony might also include religious or other readings by the officiant or by other person who have been asked by the bride and groom to speak. The Main Body is sometimes divided into the Interrogation and the presentation (either may come first). The Interrogation specifically refers to the officiant asking the couple if they come of their own free will to marry; It may also include the officiant asking the potentially show stopping question, “If anyone has just cause why these two may not wed, speak now , or forever hold your peace.” (With any luck your ceremony will be peaceful). The Presentation is when the bride, or the bride and groom, are presented for marriage by their parents (The familiar, “Who gives this woman”).
In which the officiant expalains the significance of the vows which the couple are going to exchange.
In which the bride and groom individually affirm their commitment to one another, in response to questions posed by the officiant; the response usually take the form of “I do” or “I will”. In the Western Christian tradition, this is the point at which the are officially married.
In which the couple, usually reapeating phrases at the officiant’s direction, declare their commitment to one another and place a wedding ring on the hand of their betrothed. In the Western Jewish tradition, this is the point at which they are officially married.
In which the officiant announces that the couple is officially wed. This may also include a final prayer or benediction, the officiant indicating that the groom may “kiss the bride” and / or the officiant “ introducing” the newly married couple to the guests. The ceremonial order is usually preceded by a processional, in which the wedding party members enter the ceremonial location, and is followed by a recessional , in which they exit. Part 2 Differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England . I. Preparation for wedding ceremony1. In Vietnam Preparation takes such a long time, normally wedding is arranged at home. Houses of the bride and groom are well decorated with ribbons, flowers, etc. The atmosphere is full of music and happiness. Some days before the wedding, the couple go to try wedding attire on. Nowadays, Vietnamese brides often choose white dress instead of traditional dress Ao Dai. After that invitation cards will be given to each guest with betel leaves, areca nuts and cakes. Just before the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family decorate vehicles with flowers as their responbility is to go and pick up the bride from her home. The couple need to make up and dress well, they all want to become the most attractive people in their wedding. 2. In England a. Wedding attire. Bridal gowns are less ornate that the traditional Western style dress. Anything fancy would require a special trip to a major city and be very expensive. Brides rarely kept their gowns for their daughters; they either sold them or had the fabric used to make their first child’s Christeninggown. Wear “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, and a lucky sixpence in your shoe”, as in the old English rhyme. It’s different from that in Vietnam . Nowadays, Vietnamese brides often choose white dress instead of traditional dress ao dai because white is symbol of innocence, purity and the dress makes them to become the most beautiful person on her wedding day. In fact, white long dress were first designed and worn in western countries but now becomes popular in Vietnam . Today, it is the custom to have many young bridesmaid instead af adult attendants. The bride pays her attendant’s outfits. The bridegroom rarely wears a tuxedo – only at very large, formal wedding. Business suits are normal. The bridegroom has a best man, who also wears a business suit. The mother of the bride and the mother of the bridegroom never confer on outfit color, nor do they take into consideration the bridesmaid colors. b. Ceremony location. The bride and groom of Vietnam normally choose their house for the location of their wedding. The reason is that Vietnamese consider houses are very important to one’s life as a person was born and grew up there. Thus, they like spending the most important time of their life (wedding) at home. In these years, Vietnamese have tendency of organizing weddings in hotels. It’s a result of many causes such as their house is not big enough, wealthy people like luxurions hotels more than homes, etc. In contrast, English have some common rules to follow. The Natural. One good rule of ceremony site decor is to let nature speak to itself. So if your ceremony will be held on a bluff above the crashing surf with the sunset behind you, you won’t need many swags of tulle and ribbons to embellish the locate. One couple was married outdoors in England in view of a stately lighthouse, and that in itself was enough for ceremony ambience. Still, a little decor in an outdoor setting can go along way. In one apple orchard ceremony, the bride and groom wanted to impart an informal feel to their big day. Guests gathered round the couple as they recited their vows, a bed of scattered dried leaves and wildflowers were underfoot. The informal, natural atmosphere was felt by all. In another ceremony on the beach, the bride and groomstood under a canopy made of curly willow and lace moss with seashells and starfish scattered throughout. It was just the right touch to the embellish the windswept, beachy – feel of the moment. Places of Worship. If wedding ceremony will be held in a house of worship, a church or a synagogue, find out if there are any rules regarding ceremony decorations. Many places of worship do have rules governing what can and cannot be used to decorate, when decorating can be done and when it should be taken away. Most houses of worship have a staff member who can brief the bride and groom. Row, Row, Row. Bows are a wonderful way to mark the rowor pews at wedding ceremony site. Riboons of al types can be used. Try using French wired ribbons which make excellent bows, or go with satin ribbons. Although white or ivory clored bows are traditional, almost any color can be used. Use colors to complement the bridemaid’s dreeses, bouquets and floral arrangements. Or think of the season in which ceremony wiil be held. Pastels are great for spring or summer decor; red velvet bows work well for a winter or holiday – themed wedding. Rows can also be marked with garlands, small floral arrengements or rose topiaries. At a wedding in a backyard full of ivy, row were linked with ivy vines. Try marking rows with slender candles im hurricane lamp, especially if the room will be dim or the ceremony is outdoors in the evening. Swags of fabric can be used between the roesto add impact. Tulle is a popular choice, but other fabrics work well, too. An airy organza – like fabric looks beautiful. Bright Light . The right lighting can create a certain mood at wedding ceremony. Check out the site at the time of wedding day and assess the light. Consider hiring a light specialist to come up with a lighting scheme that gives the room the ambience the couple want to convey. Make sure that the lighting chosen complies with any rules or building codes ceremony site may have. Try using diffused lighting for a softly- lit feel in the room. Pin spot can light up the area where bride and groom will be married, such as the huppah ( wedding canopy ) in a Jewish wedding. But make sure the lights aren’t too hot. Have a licensed electrician install the light so there doesn’t have any unforeseen power outages. That Certain Glow . Candles can indeed add a touch of romance to the ceremony. Candles serve to personalize a space and give it a spiritual feel. A hotel ballroom can become a more intimate space with lit candelabras in front, where the ceremony will take place. Candles are also affordable lighting sources and will save and will save a big electrician’s bill. The only concern about candles is safety, so make sure they are enclosed in vases or lanterns if they will be scattered about at ceremony site. c. Wedding cake. In medieval England , guests brought small cakes and piled them in the center of a table, challenging the bride and groom to kiss over them. Wedding cakes are less elaborate in design. The weding cake is a rich fruitcake topped with marzipan; The top tier is called “ christening cake “ to be save for the birth of the first child. Old fashioned fruitcake dates back to the day before leavening and sugar. II. Preparation for wedding ceremony1. In Vietnam After wedding, Vietnamese young couple often don’t have honeymoon. The day after in the morning the new husband and wife visit the bride’s family. They bring buiscuits, sweets, chickens, sticky rice, etc because bride’s family will use these food to cook meal for all family eat together. Newly wed couple (now husband and wife) pray their ancestor. If the groom’s house is far from the bride’s house. young couple can visit their parents – in – law in some days later. Just after wedding, bride and groom go to their wedding room, they drink a glass of wine together. At this time, they are offcially become husband and wife. 2. In England Unlike the traditions of Vietnam , in England there are some typical customs some of which are: a. Wedding breakfast. In England , wedding traditionally are at noon ; afterward, there is a seated lucheon, call a wedding breakfast. The bride and groom dance the first dance but there is no introduction of wedding parties nor any father/ daughter dance. They do not toss the bouquet or garter. b. Photographs. Vietnamese take photograph all the time in their wedding, even when guests are having parties. But in England , photos are taken outside the church immediately after the ceremony, or inside if it is raining. While photos are being taken, relatives and close friends present the bride with wedding souvernirs horsehoes, wooden spoons, rolling pins, all decorated with lace and ribbon. c. Honeymoon Newly wedded English couples then leave for their honeymoon. Unlike that, Vietnamese couple spend honeymoon at home and of course they are free at work that day. III. Other differences1. The Place Of Wedding. Wedding flowers are scattered by a small girl preceding the English bride and her wedding party, who walk together to the wedding chapel or the weding site. The flowered path and symbolic walk express hope for the bride’s path though life to be happy and lovely. English bridesmaids wear wishers, who might curse her for her happiness. Brides sew a good luck charm, such as the silver horseshoe of royal British brides, to the hem of their wedding dresses. Old English wedding tradition also calls for the bride to carry a horseshoe, streaming with ribbons, for good luck. Mean while, in Vietnam , there’s no path which is covered with flowers. Everythings are simple. 2. Flower Power. Flower Power. Flowers add color, beauty and subtle fragrance to ceremony site. Floral arrangements typically adorn the altar, or in Jewish weedings, the bimah (the front of the synagogue where the ceremony takes place). Choose flowers in a paltette that works with your floral scheme. Big flowers work well at the altar or bimah because they show up. If the church or synagogue is dim, make sure the colors chosen for flowres show up as well. It’d better keep the arrangements simple. You want all eyes on you, not just on the flowers. Flowers have always been a big feature at Weddings. The groom is supposed to wear a flower that appears in the Bridal Bouquet in his button – hole. The stems from the Medieval tradition of a Knight wearing his Ladi’s colours, as a declaration of his love. Each flower has its own meaning and can display a speacial message. Orange Blossom, for instance, signifies chastity, purity and loveliness, while red chrysanthemum means “I love you” The grooms in Vietnam consider that roses are symbol of love so roses are mostly chosen. 3. Rice. In Vietnam , people don’t use rice throw at bride and groom. However, in England its different, imagine that you’re a bride. Your guests throw rice at you because rice symbolizes ertility. Whatever your guest chooses to throw on you can represent that they are showering you with the good things in life. In Asian throwing rice symbolizes a “full pantry” 4 . Colours. English find many meaningful definition for colours used in wedding but Vietnamese don’t English consider that. Married in white, you have it right Married in blue, your love is true Married in pink, your fortune will sink Married in green, you’ll never be seen Married in red, you’ll wish you were dead Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow Married in brown, you’ll live out of town Married in gay, you’ll live far away Married in black, you’ll wish you were back 5. Representation of each day of the week. On the other hand, English think that each day of the week has its own meaning. Monday – Health Tuesday – Wealth Wednesday – The Best Day Thursday – Brings Crosses Friday – Losses Saturday – No Luck At All And to think, everyone gets married on the weakend. Hope you enjoy these tries and true traditions 6. Choose the time. That date of weddings in Vietnam depends on the age of the bride and groom. They must find out the most suitable time that suits their age most. Beside that, English people have some comon knowledge about the time for marriage. As for the time of year, the saying ‘ Marry in the month of May, and you’ll live to rue the day’ dates back to the pagan tomes. May, the start of summer , was dedicated to outdoor orgies (in the summer festival Beltane), hardly the best way to begin married life! Qeen Victoria is said that have banned her children from marrying in May, and Nineteenth Century Vicars were rushed of their feeton April 30th because Brides refused to marry during May. The sun has alway been associated with sexual stimulation and, therefore future fertility. In Scotland it was traditional for the Bride to ‘walk with the sun’, proceeding from east to west on the south side of the church and then circling the Church three times ‘sunwise’ for good luck. Married when the year is new, he’ll be loving, kind and true, when February birds to mate, you wed nor dread your fate. If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you’ll know. marry in April when you can, joy for Maiden and for man. Marry in the month of May, and you’ll surely rue the day. Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you’ll go. Those in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred. Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see Marry in September’s shrine, your living will be rich and fine. If in October you do marry, love will come but rich tarry. If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember. When December snows fall fast, marry and true love. references 1. Nha xuat ban van hoa dan toc Hanoi (Ha noi – 1999). Dang Van Lung – Nguyen Song Thao – Hoang Van Tru. Phong tục tập quán các dân tộc Việt Nam . 2. J. Michel Bennett and Mc Graw Hill. 1991. For Powers of Communication (Skills for effective learning). 3. Special English magazine N039 . Publication Thanh Nien. 4. Http://www.wedding channel.com |
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